Gay room, Great view

Luxor and the Nile

Luxor station was smaller than I expected, but that was fine.

The train arrived at a good hour the next day, around 8am, and we were all a bit tired and really wanted a shower. We of course were a bit worried that that would be impossible as check-in at our hotel was 3pm. The hotel was nice enough to let us check in a full 8 HOURS EARLY!!! Score!

The room immediately gave us the impression of being slightly.. ummm Gay. Well, as Todd aptly put it, this room wasn't gay so much as it was "GAAAaaaaaYY!"

This picture above the bed didn't help much. I have no idea what they are doing.

Neither did the third bed.. Thank you housekeeping for turning our bert and ernie beds into larry, curly and Moe bunks. Here's your tip. How much more for you to not think that we are the three gayest tourists ever? nah. Too much.

They seemed to work just fine, as Todd passed out immediately upon attaining horizontalness.

"Yes, we want the Pharaohs Fantasy Sensual Massage for 3..." (he's confirming the hotel room price.) But I had you going for a second there...

Whatever problem the room did have were trumped by the one fantastic element the room had... this tiny little, unassuming balcony.

Which commanded a great view of the nile. We spent most of our time on that balcony. Watching the tour boats come and go..

and watching life proceed up and down the main strip... Say what you will... gay beds, homo-erotic wall art, a bathtub that wouldn't hold water... but still... that balcony... I'll never forget it.

Our main target items to see in Luxor were The Luxor Temple, Karnak, and the Valley of the kings. We decided to waste no time and get to it.. I suggested we do the valley of the kings the next day, as it was out in the desert, and required some research. Karnak however was right up the street...We showered up and set out.

The temple of Luxor was right next to the hotel. Literally. We walked by it on the way to Karnak.

A shop where we stopped to buy some postcards and cheap water had this cute sign out front. No doubt designed to get you to stop and buy postcards and cheap water. I wonder, which came first, the sucker or the hustle?

When we arrived Karnak was hopping. Karnak is a giant (I mean it, like a square kilometer) complex that houses many temples and such. It is quite amazing to see how well preserved some of it is, sad to see how poorly preserved some of it is, and dreadful to think how most of it will look in a few years, given how free people are to abuse it now.

As you approach the first outer walls, there the avenue of sphinxes to great you. Please note the wooden poles and string, easily (and often) hopped over to allow someone to take a picture of a loved one smiling while touching and damaging them. Nice.

Once past the main outer walls you enter the central boulevard, so to speak.

Just to the left are a few empty rooms that were once temples to Thebian Gods. This does have a bit of a happy ending in that many of the treasures once inside are well preserved and WELL DISPLAYED at the luxor museum up the street.

Not everything is well preserved mind you.

Many people don't realize the sphinx is an endangered creature. For just pennies a day you can adopt and...

I said it before, I'll say it again.. anyone coming into contact with this civilization must have been in AWE.

We were sitting around in a room talking when I spotted it, a dark room, with a single hole, and a shaft of light penetrating. I was a bit rude and ran towards it and thrust my head into the light... No super powers were forthcoming. Major disappointment was probably early.. should have been there at noon I guess...

but just to be sure, we all stood in the light, and we found another in an adjacent room, and tried standing in them at the same time. Andy discovered that by pushing your hand you could reflect the light onto the wall. Really cool effect. We impressed some nearby tourists with that one. We should have asked for baksheesh.

No super powers for you. NEXT!

Karnak also features, (like many other temples) and open air debree garden where scraps and broken bits are stored and numbered. This place must have been amazing.

I love pillars. Huge massive carved pillars. Karnak was not a disappointment.

Just to give you an idea of how grand this place was... That is one huge pillar! Out of HUNDREDS!!!!

Standing in the middle of the complex one finds this great obelisk, I don't know exactly what it was, but you get a better view if you climb up this wall to have a look.

Awesome.

We eventually started taking pictures of people that climbed over the ropes to take their pictures. We were hoping to make them feel awkward. I doubt you will ever see this page mr. and Ms. Baseball cap, but if you do, I hope you realize that at least 3 people in the world think you are selfish, stupid people.

This picture is interesting because we got the obelisk, and one of the jerks who hangs around, tells you stuff you didn't want to know, and gets irritated if you don't listen, then demands money.

One can only imagine what it must have looked like.

One corner of Karnak is filled with a man made sacred lake. It times gone by it was used for purification and such. I don't think Todd knew I took this picture.

Around every corner cryptic writing and decaying statues of long dead gods and men await.

No idea what this was, but we all agreed it was the most sinister and frightening hyroglyphic we had seen.

Here we see Ra (sun, good) and, oh geez... I know this one... umm the head evil god crowing the king. This is a recurring theme meant to show that the pharaoh was master of all and blessed and recognized by all the universe, both order and chaos, as master. Also interesting is the fact that he has been chipped away. Often kings would have the records of those that came before destroyed to make their glory all the greater.

Ready. Aim. Document.

Im telling you, that does not say "For a good time call Theomephatapolthea VI !"

Andy attempts to create a link by changing "Amun" to "Andy". We are still waiting for the Egyptian Historical society to track him down.

With the sun starting to sink low, we bade farewell to Karnak, a site which, despite being quite a hike to get to, I recommend.

We decided to have a cab take us to a hotel near ours, but not ours, because it was closer to some restaurants. We ended up in this little, semi-clean place that served up good food and good prices. It was also notably free of cats.

On the way to that restaurant we passed a small shopping bazaar. amongst the crap that was lined up on the streets, there was one shop selling Shesha. I shopped my prices in Cairo and knew what they were worth, and there from the cab, I saw it. The one that I had been looking for. I insisted that we go back there after lunch and do some shopping. I met with no resistance.

When we went back we looked at what they had to offer. Blankets, clothes, crap like that. I bought a headdress from a guy who called himself"Morgan Freeman" which is not surprising, since he bore a slight resemblance. After giving morgan more of my time and money than I wanted we split up, Andy to shop for textiles and Todd and I to look for hookahs.

We went to the hookah shop and started looking around. A young man came up and said "Hello, How may I hustle you?" I had an instant liking for him. I told him he would have a hard time of it, and we began the dance of bargaining for the hookah. It came to light that it wasn't his shop, but that it was his neighbours who was away, and that he could deal with me. We talked turkey, found a price we liked, and then he sent a boy off to ask the actual owner to approve the deal. While we were waiting we were talking about the functionality of the thing. "You want to try?" He asked. "Well if you're offering to share a pipe with me, I won't say no." I responded. So he brought around some charcoal and stoked a small fire, and we lit up a shesha he was smoking when I arrived (the same model as the one we purchased. I say we, because I was bargaining for Todd, but we talked about shared ownership, or me coming back for one later, in the end I bought it off Todd and kept it, which made me happy, cause I loved it from the moment I saw it.)

We sat there and smoked. The three of us, Me, T, and Mustafa. We talked about women, fidelity, and the pros and cons of both. Eventually Andy showed up, and we spent the better part of two hours with Mustafa, shopping, drinking coffee and smoking. I felt bad for holding Andy and Todd up (I am the heaviest smoker) but as Andy said, "Never apologize for smoking a hookah, I love the smell."

Mustafa was a clever and quick fella, who realized right away, that I knew a bit about bargaining.

"I think you learned this in Egypt." He said.

"No," I said,"I learned it in China, practiced it in India, and perfected it in Egypt."

Me, T, and our buddy Mustafa stop to smoke.

There was of course a catch. When we were done, we had to go into his shop of course. Andy and I bought a few things, Todd bought allot of things. When we were done, we had dropped a big chunk of coin in his shop, but happily and with minimal stress. He then invited us for a coffee and a smoke, his treat. I said that was very nice of him.."Hey, its your money." He joked. I really liked that guy.

After being taken for a pleasant ride in his shop, we were treated to a drink and another smoke. I had a turkish coffee. Thick. Really thick.

After we were done with Mustafa we headed back to the hotel to make a quick stop and drop off the booty that we had managed to get over the day.

Andy's first purchased blanket. I point that out for a reason. We'll get to it later.

We also took a minute to make use of the balcony. To Ponder.

To refresh.

To profile.

The sun was beginning to set, so we decided to take a quick felucca ride on the nile before sunset

Andy took care of the bargaining and got us a good deal on an hour of time.

We hopped on board the Jasmine and headed off. Andy ran to buy a few beers first.

Feluccas are small sail boats with this particular curved sail that ply the nile constantly. They are really pleasant, as long as there happens to be some wind.

Andy on the boat

Adventure hat present and accounted for.

Todd and the nile enjoy a moment of peace together.

I think I mentioned the wind had to be up, well it wasn't when we headed out.. This 10 year old kid (who will be mighty in his 20s) rowed us with a single, square oar (with no fins) Naturally I had to try.

Still Trying

That'll learn it...

Maybe if I stand up... Needless to say I had very little luck using the square fin less oar in the round peg. I could think of at least 3 ways to make the process and the instrument more efficient, but I doubt they would implement my suggestions anyhow.

As the sun sank over the desert we rowed, floated, coasted and were eventually towed up the nile. Great cruise.

One hour and 3 litres of beer later, (do the math) the three of us stumbled happily into the bazaar for round 2 of bargaining. We had a grand old time haggling, bartering, fast talking and ultimately spending money.

When we got back to the hotel we stopped to survey the stupidity we had committed in the bazaar. I think I look rather dapper, and for some reason... rich.

Andy did well on the blankets/scarves/whatever the hell these beautiful and cheap things are.. He got over a dozen for us all to share. Good job D

Nothing ends a day like sitting on your balcony overlooking the nile and enjoying your mouth sized cheetos, and pepper and lemon Lays. Good day.

On to the valley of the kings