I think it was Romeo who said it… Though it could have been Juliet… one of those whiny star crossed lovers said it. In any case, this phrase has been cropped up and used by hundreds of thousands of people who think they know what it means. Me? I am not sure, but I needed an anecdote about names to get this article rolling…
It occurred to me the other day that when you name something a “Danger tour” people expect a certain amount of… well... danger. It’s in the name right? You would be disappointed if you went to an all-girl show and found no girls… the idea of an all you can eat buffet without any food is ludicrous.
So I decided to step back and re-evaluate my ‘danger tours’ to see if they really lived up to the name…
Let’s see
…
Yeah, but
we went to
A very disappointing revelation. It seemed so much more dangerous at the time…
Next up
was
We stayed in a gorgeous 5 star hotel (-1 danger point) and traveled in a group of 3 (-1 danger point) men (-1 Danger point). We did hike along the great wall in an uncommon area that was not railed or repaired (+1 danger point) that we read about in a lonely planet (-1 danger point). A fall from certain points though probably would have killed us. (+1 danger point) A fall from other places definitely would have. (+2 danger points).
Kinda evens out…Danger rating…Low to moderate.
Wildlife runs the streets unabated (+1), though it should be pointed out it consists mainly of hindu cows (-1). We were only in a group of two (no adjustment) and I ate food from a train platform (+2).
Remember those shots and pills? Did I mention we didn’t have any? (+1)
I found
out later that
Getting there. Danger rating... Moderate
Ok, so this is a thing that one gets better at with experience… it takes time to develop the skill to creatively risk one’s life just enough to create an thrill of danger (be it illusory or actual) and at the same time be relatively sure you’re coming home in one piece and disease free. Now we’re getting into a state of experience where we can define a formula:
To create a truly dangerous danger tour we should have…
An ancient
society with different social norms (
The presence
(or proximity) of violence like war or civil uprising (
A non-democratic,
or visa-requiring country (
Travel
by local trains (
Hiking
in precarious locations (
No Preparatory
Medications (
Eat local
food (
Free Roaming
Wildlife (
Questionable
Airlines (
Yet to curb the possibility of having to have my corpse shipped home , a danger tour should include…
A larger
traveling party (
Nice hotels
(
Travel
by special trains (
Eat in
hotels (
Carry a
lonely planet (
This having been defined, we set out to create the ultimate Danger tour, incorporating as many elements as we could to create the ultimate Danger tour. The be all… end all Danger tour. And I feel we’ve done a pretty good job:
Around
the world with D’ and Kuma Presents…
Lets take a quick look at the math… On the danger side…
And yet at the same time…(the safely points)
So we have formulated a perfect balance between danger and safety, between chaos and order… we are prepared enough to feel confident, but have enough of a mystery ahead for butterflies in our stomachs. Perfect.
This having been laid out, let’s see how it all worked out compared to the plan…